Year In Review: *Ugh*, *Meh*, *Sigh*

37 out of 60.

Half. About half. Half full? Half empty?

More like half-assed.

Yeah...this reading year did not go as I imagined/planned, and that's what I get for planning in the first place --- life always points, laughs, and switches up on you.

At the beginning of the year I felt a bit confident that I could build upon my reading goals, something I've been steadily doing for the past four years, adding more books to the count and challenging myself to read more, and this year was the most I had dedicated myself to do. 60 books I was going to read and relish in for 2018 and I was going to write all the reviews, but...disappointingly I overreached, the words didn't flow, and I only got half-way in terms of my goal, GoodReads' Reading Challenge meter mocking me the entire way.

*long frustrated sigh*

So what happened? As I said, life happened and laughed at me, disrupting things, but something felt 'off' about my reading pattern in general all year long.

Should I blame the books themselves? In a way. I will say I ran into some speed bumps with a few of them and got stuck in a couple of reading ruts to where some of my choices wouldn't hold my attention for long (save for the late Kevyn Aucoin's iconic Making Faces or Lisa Eldridge's Face Paint cause oooh pretty pictures and makeup!). Also this year was a bit trying for personal reasons (hold that thought...) so my mind was kind of elsewhere. I don't know, this year I just didn't really love most of what I read, which is a strange situation for me to be in. I enjoyed a bunch of books, no doubt, but I wasn't enraptured as so few allowed me to get lost within their worlds. There were a handful of books that when I finished I looked at them and went: "why weren't you better?" others I was "meh" on, some I was re-configuring the ending in my head due to being unsatisfied with what was written (looking at you Ottessa Moshfegh's Eileen). A chosen few got some eyebrow raises and left impressions on me, thus it wasn't all a trash heap. So, yeah, this year was a mixed bag.

Though this blog is in its fawn stages, and I'm allowing it to wobble on its new legs for a little while, I'm just not pleased that for it's grand debut, that I'm not keeping up with my reading goals or scribbling out reviews at a steady pace. ← And note that this criticism is the Virgo in me --- we are annoyingly hard on ourselves.

With all my frustrated sighs and ughs, I'm looking forward to a fresh new year and a fresh batch of books to read, relish in, and review. This blog is shaping up to be nice little nook for me, and with a new year brings new possibilities and challenges so hopefully 2019 will be paved with pages that will invite me right in and words to guide me along the way.

But! in the meantime let's go backwards a bit and revisit my favorites and fails of 2018!

Favorites 

Fiction + Poetry 

The Vagabond, by Colette [Review]

"Erotic Reading Without A Bodice Being Ripped Award" 

A gorgeous, sumptuous read about a vaudevillian performer who has to decide between a second chance at love or her own newfound independence. Easily the best book I read all year, and a great introduction to Collete's exquisite diamond cut prose.

Mrs. Caliban, by Rachel Ingalls [Review]

"Sci-Fi Meets Wokeness Award" 

Woman meets an amphibian monster. Woman gets her freak on with an amphibian monster. Woman deep dives into an awakening like no other. Brilliance.

What It Means When A Man Falls From The Sky, by Lesley Nneka Arimah

"Short Story Collection That Didn't Suck Award" 

Solid collection of stories that touch North American and African shores, and mix domestic realism with magic realism beautifully. "The Future Looks Good" is superb in structure, with one of the most shocking endings of a short story I've ever read. I also didn't want to leave the worlds "Windfalls" and "Wild" set-up, but "Second Chances" about a deceased mother who returns to her family and greeted with her daughter's doubts, haunts me on a level that hit me right in the emotions.

Thomas and Beulah, Poems by Rita Dove [Review]

"Black Is Beautiful Award"  

A prose perfect love letter to family, romance, and the Black American experience through the eyes of Dove's grandparents.

Mrs. Kimble, by Jennifer Haigh

"(It's A Fucked Up) Family Affair Award"

Or "A Portrait of A Deadbeat Dad As A Fuck Boy". Shades of Richard Yates reside within and in all the best ways in this story about a con man who leaves three wives and children in the wake of his disasters.


Non-Fiction

Sister, Outsider, by Audre Lorde

"Wise Auntie In My Head Award" 

The pen is truly powerful when Audre Lorde wielded it. She is just so there. Contains so many important essays and thoughts, but by far "The Master's Tools Will Never Dismantle The Master's House" is one of my all-time favorite essays. It says so much in such short page space, while leaving you with a lifetime of knowledge.

Brat Pack America: A Love Letter to '80s Teen Movies, by Kevin Smokler

"Bestill My '80s Loving Day-Glo Heart Award" 

Since I missed my calling to star in a 1980s flick*, this book was made for me. What I liked about this is that this book is not filled with "here's a movie, here's a synopsis of the movie, I'm Wikipedia" assessments, Smokler expands on each film's most familiar elements, and gives an in-depth and entertaining analysis. His framing each film by its geography and its history delivers fascinating observations, as it allows you to expand your thinking about these films, and see them in a larger context outside of it itself and its reputation --- or in some cases its camp factor. This is something I appreciated, as never will I look at The Karate Kid the same way in terms of the 1984 Olympics, or how there is an argument to be made for how influential Real Genius was in the world of tech aside from its one-line zingers. Bitchin' indeed.

*1986's Modern Girls is what I was in a past life...

Man In The Music: The Creative Life & Work of Michael Jackson, by Joseph Vogel

"The Shamone! Award" 

Michael Jackson's music is underrated. Nope, not a typo. His music is underrated in that it's so overplayed, so recognized, so threaded in our societal fabric that people forget what type of genius work went into crafting it. Here's where Vogel steps in and details every album, every single, and every unreleased cut that the King of Pop moonwalked over, solidifying his genius, and those whose genius melded with his. Even though I'm such a Jacksonian scholar when it comes to Michael and sister Janet, this book did the unthinkable as it made me listen to his music with whole new ears.

The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone, by Olivia Laing

"You Weren't Perfect, But Perfect For Me Award" 

Never have I read a book that metamorphosed in purpose and thought as much as this book. I went into this book thinking that it was going to be a study of loneliness in urban settings, but it was that...and then it wasn't. It morphed into a stunning reflection on the lives of famous (and infamous) introverted, but massively influential artists such as Andy Warhol, Edward Hopper, Jean-Michel Basquiat, and Klaus Nomi, and then expanded on that to discuss the changing societal and cultural pace of New York City life from the Free Love era to the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s. Laing interjects herself into the narrative, making this also a quasi-memoir, but her story really is just a decorative prop piece to introduce her subjects. As lopsided, and false advertisement as this narrative is, and with the book reeking of privilege (via the author) and too many damn white men stories (only two women, Warhol's shooter Valerie Solanas and Billie Holiday are given voice), it's still a fascinating read that will take you places unimagined.

Fails 

Fiction 

The Slaves of Solitude, by Patrick Hamilton

"Felicity, Ben, & Noel Love Triangle Award" 

Why did I think a story about the occupants of an English boarding house during WWII would be an engaging albeit emo version of Separate Tables? That's what I get for assuming. Slaves of Solitude is nothing but a dreary and drab narrative that houses an annoying Mary Sue main character who never stands up for herself, and we witness every punch to her self-esteem along with the toxic love triangle she mopes in. No thank you. Only thing that is going for this slog is the great title, and Hamilton's resume (he wrote Rope and Gaslight which are exceptional plays turned into exceptional films).

Bonjour Tristesse, by Francoise Sagan

"Insufferable Lena 'Voice Of A Generation' Dunham Award" 

Spoiled rotten teen meddles in her father's romantic trysts leading to terrible consequences.

Yeah...didn't care.

Sagan was 17 or 18 when she wrote this back in 1954, and as much as that marveled readers back in the day and gained her awards and praise out the ass, the self-absorbed prose leaves a sour taste in the mouth.

Lost Among The Living, by Simone St. James

"Daphne Du Maurier Is Judging Your Shenanigans Award" 

Had an eerie Rebecca air about it from the start, complete with a looming Gothic homestead, war-time espionage, and a woman who's husband may or may not be dead (spoiler: he isn't dead because the freaking blurb tells me so), but it all came together in a ball of bore. Oh, there's a ghost wedged in this thing too, but by the end you don't care...and the end never ends, once you think it's over, here comes another chapter! This is my second Simone St. James novel (read and liked The Haunting of Maddy Clare) and I do love how she mixes a few of my favorite literary elements (1920s, cozy mystery, Gothic English villages, dashing men in uniform) into a cozy cocktail rife with interesting characters and settings, but this was an under-cooked clunker.


Non-Fiction

Black Klansman: Race, Hate, and The Undercover Investigation of a A Lifetime, by Ron Stallworth

Good Girls Revolt: How The Women of Newsweek Sued Their Bosses and Changed The Workplace, by Lynn Povich

Playing The Whore: The Work of Sex Work, by Melissa Gira Grant 

"Flat Soda Award" 

All of these are going under the same umbrella of fail.

Yes, I rated all of these with glowing 3 stars.
Yes, there is important history, reflection, and conversation within the pages of these tomes.
Yes, each book highlights three major and controversial social ills we're (unfortunately) still dealing with from fascinating viewpoints: racism/white supremacist terrorism (Black Klansman), sexism in the workplace (Good Girls Revolt), and criminalizing prostitution (Playing The Whore).
Yes, two of these books became a good short-lived series (Good Girls Revolt), and an excellent movie (Black kkKlansman).

BUT 👏🏽 THESE 👏🏽 BOOKS 👏🏽 ARE 👏🏽 SO 👏🏽 FRACKING 👏🏽 BORING.


So what were your favorites and fails for 2018?